Tips on Talking to Children About Their Food Allergy

Keeping food allergy talk simple can help regardless of your child’s age. Using clear, straightforward explanations prevents food allergies from becoming intimidating, confusing, or frightening.

For young children, food choices can be broken down into “safe” and “not safe.” Or, you can explain certain foods will “make you sick” since the concept of an allergy may be too complex for them to understand.

You can help reinforce the importance of “safe” and “not safe” by reading food labels out loud, declaring which ingredients are safe and which ones aren’t. This can help children start to recognize and remember foods they can have and which ones to avoid.

Fear is a powerful motivator, but using fear to get your child to avoid certain foods could backfire and become upsetting. While it’s important for children to understand if they have a potentially serious food allergy, using words like “life threatening” may cause anxiety or contribute to fear-based eating patterns.

Here are some ways you can avoid scary language when explaining allergies:

• • Instead of “deadly” or “life threatening,” say “very serious.”
  • Instead of “emergency,” say “get help quickly.”
  • Instead of “danger,” say “stay safe.”
  • Instead of “scary,” say “not good.”

The complexity of a food allergy can be overwhelming even for adults. Children might not be familiar with every food that’s off-limits. To help your child recognize foods that might be unsafe, consider supporting your conversation about allergies with images, physical examples, or stories they’re familiar with.

An easy example would be to show them a picture of peanuts and peanut butter for a peanut allergy. Or, when you go grocery shopping, point out safe and unsafe foods as you place them in your cart.

You can take it a step further for older children and use their favorite stories to encourage food allergy awareness.

In the classic fairy tale of Goldilocks, for example, you could note how she ate the bears’ porridge without knowing the ingredients. Your child can then explain why that behavior wouldn’t be “safe” for them.

As a caregiver, you play an important role in modeling proper food allergy management. Inclusive words can go a long way when it comes to this.

Using “we” statements rather than “I” statements helps kids understand they are active participants in their food allergy management. “We” statements can encourage communication and engagement. They can help children feel in control of their food allergy management.

You can model positive food allergy behaviors for your child by saying things like:

• • “We’ve got our medicine kit with us, so now we can leave the house.”
  • “We should read the ingredients to make sure nothing will make you sick.”
  • “We should wash our hands before we eat to be safe.”

As your child gets older, these joint management strategies can become habits they carry on without your direction.

Living with a food allergy can be discouraging and disheartening for children, especially if it means not being able to enjoy the same foods their friends are eating at birthday parties or other social events.

Focusing on positive encouragement when you communicate can help your child maintain a positive outlook about their food allergy. Encouragement can also reinforce beneficial behaviors when it comes to sticking to a safe diet and being aware of symptoms.

Examples of encouraging statements include:

• • “I’m so proud of you for not having any cake. Let’s go find a treat you enjoy that’s safe.”
  • “I know you feel frustrated, but your safety is the most important thing to all of us.”
  • “It’s OK to feel sad, but I am so proud of how brave you are.”
  • “You did the right thing by not having that cake. Good job!”
  • “Great job telling me when you felt sick after eating. Letting me know right away helps you stay safe.”

Talking with your child about food allergies also means helping them develop ways to communicate their allergy to others. You can do this by playing through different scenarios and having your child respond with a set of statements like:

• • “I have food allergies to peanuts and soy.”
  • “No thank you. I have food allergies.”
  • “Thank you, but I have to ask my parents first.”

You can use imaginative play or role-playing as ways to teach these statements and when to use them.

Food allergies are fairly common, and sharing this with your child can help keep them from feeling as if something is “wrong” with them. Staying calm in conversation and using inclusive statements can help empower children and boost their confidence about living with a food allergy.

Examples of things to share that help normalize food allergies:

• • “Lots of people have food allergies. It’s just one of the many things that make them who they are.”
  • “Everyone is unique. Just like some of your friends wear glasses to see better, you don’t eat certain foods because they make you sick.”

You can also give examples of other people leading fulfilling lives despite food allergies, such as friends, relatives, or celebrities.